How to Handle Being the “Only One” in the Room
Last updated August 17, 2023
As a teen or college student, stepping into the professional world can be an exciting yet challenging experience. One challenge that you may face is being the youngest, the only person of color, or belonging to another underrepresented group - within a job, internship, apprenticeship, or predominantly white institution (PWI). Being the "first" or the "only" can often bring about unique dynamics and a sense of isolation. However, it's crucial to recognize that your presence holds so much value and can be a catalyst for change. Here's a guide on how to navigate these situations, find support, and embrace your status as a strength.
Recognize the Importance of Your Presence
Being the "first" or "only" person from your background in a particular space is incredibly significant. Your presence challenges the status quo and paves the way for future generations. Understand that your unique perspective and experiences bring a fresh dimension to the workplace. By recognizing the value you bring, you can build confidence and a strong sense of self-worth.
Seek Out Community and Support
Finding a community that understands your experiences can be empowering. Connect with other individuals who share similar backgrounds or have faced similar challenges. Seek out organizations, professional networks, or affinity groups that celebrate diversity and inclusion. These spaces can provide a support system, mentorship opportunities, and a sense of belonging. Engaging with others who can relate to your experiences can be a source of strength and advice during difficult times.
Find Mentors and Role Models
Mentorship is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. Look for mentors who have overcome similar obstacles and excelled in their careers. They can offer guidance, support, and insights into navigating the challenges you may encounter. In addition, seek out role models who have succeeded in your chosen field and share your background. Their achievements can inspire and motivate you to strive for excellence. Don't be afraid to express your desire to find a mentor or role model! You might find someone who can serve as a valuable connection.
In spaces where you may be the only representative of your background, it's important to advocate for yourself. Speak up about your ideas, share your perspectives, and contribute to discussions. By voicing your thoughts, you can help others understand the value of diversity and challenge any assumptions or biases they may hold. Be confident in your abilities and remind yourself of the unique strengths you bring to the table.
Unfortunately, tokenism can occur in some work and school spaces. Tokenism is when people include individuals from underrepresented groups just to make it look like they have diversity, without actually appreciating or respecting their contributions.
It's essential to recognize and address tokenism when you encounter it. Speak up if you feel your ideas are not being valued or if you are being treated as a mere “checkbox” for diversity. Seek allies within the organization who can help you address these issues effectively. Just because you come from a specific background doesn't mean you speak for everyone in that group. Each person is unique and deserves to be seen that way.
Dealing with Microaggressions
Microaggressions are when people say or do things that unintentionally show bias or make assumptions about someone because of their race, background, gender, who they like, or other parts of who they are. While most times microaggressions are subtle, they can be deeply hurtful, undermine your sense of belonging, and can contribute to a hostile or unwelcoming environment.
Microaggressions can take the form of seemingly positive remarks that carry underlying stereotypes. For example, someone might say, "You're so articulate for someone from your background." This comment implies surprise or low expectations based on stereotypes. Respond by calmly pointing out the issue, such as saying, "Thank you, but it's important to recognize that intelligence and communication skills are not determined by race or ethnicity.".
If you experience a microaggression, it's important to address it. Choose a suitable time and place to have a respectful conversation with the person involved, explaining how their words or actions impacted you. If necessary, seek guidance from a trusted supervisor or mentor to navigate these situations.
Cultivate a Supportive Network
While being the only person of color or belonging to an underrepresented group can feel isolating, it's important to seek out spaces where you aren't the "only." Engage with organizations, events, or communities that celebrate diversity and inclusion. Building relationships and connections with people who share your experiences can provide emotional support and rejuvenate you for your other spaces.
Remember, being the "first" or "only" can be a stepping stone to breaking down barriers and creating more inclusive environments. Embrace your uniqueness, seek support, and be an agent of change. Your presence matters, and by embracing your status as a strength, you can inspire and empower others to follow in your footsteps.